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Early on I used to have a fit every week about what he could do to make more time for me, but at a certain point, after some compromising, you end up just trying to be supportive and patient.Besides, I wouldn’t want the finger pointed at me for having a part in keeping him from doing what he needs to do to get ahead.It was difficult for us to make plans because we had different schedules, and, to make matters worse, his daughter would get sick (or whatever) when we had plans.The girls’ mother also had a demanding job, so she never seemed available to deal with her own children.He’s busy studying for a major exam that will allow him to work for whomever he wants and to make the kind of moves and money I probably won’t ever see (hey, columnists weren’t meant to be millionaires).With all that drive comes a lot of time we don’t get to share together.
Recently, he and I made plans to have a friendly, totally platonic drink to celebrate my promotion.
I was the oracle, remembering each detail from my supporting role. I was causing trouble, making things difficult for everyone."What happened to you back there? Hearing that he wanted more felt like wading into the deep end. had feelings for me, I felt strange every time I saw him.
There was safety in the shadows, but also a kind of darkness. " my friend whispered as we walked back to the car with the guys a few steps ahead."It just felt strange," I told her. Just like that, you lose your footing, and you're in over your head. He noticed my sudden distance and pouted, unsettling to see in an adult.
In tenth grade, we made friends with a group of older guys who hung out on the main street of town, which ran parallel to the local university — guys who'd once gone to our same high school and had never left the social scene. I remember how quiet it was, birds soaring overhead, no other sound. "Like we were supposed to be boyfriend and girlfriend, or something.""Well," she said slowly. I'd completely accepted her romance with an older guy as normal, even destined. When he wasn't upset, he was in kindness overdrive, buying me things: a gold necklace with a floating heart, stuffed animals.
When they weren't doing BMX and skateboard tricks in front of the post office, they were spending what money they had at the nearby arcade, or spinning on stools and shooting straw wrappers in their favorite burger joint, just across the street. I grew to dread the moments we were alone, especially when I needed a ride home at the end of the night to make my curfew.