Dating up dating down
Is it because, with age, we care more about a relationship’s potential longevity, rather than just instant sexual gratification?Or perhaps we become more acutely aware of the impermanence of beauty after experiencing our own signs of aging?Women are hard-wired to talk and “get out” our feelings, which might be one of the reasons why we live longer. In her book, Marianne Williamson writes, “There’s nothing more powerful than a woman who knows how to contain her power and not let it leak, standing firmly within it in mystery and silence. Women, on the other hand, seem to believe that the more they do for a man, the more he will appreciate her and want to be with her. He will probably be grateful, but he won’t respect you, and he will expect you to take care of all the details, all of the time.
Someone who is dating the right person consistently enjoys the relationship and feels a general sense of happiness (arguments aside! If you find yourself unhappy most of the time -- and especially when you are with them -- then this may be a sign that this isn't the best person for you.
In time, this pattern may tip scales in the working world and beyond, but even now, we've got the cultural upper hand.
Despite all this great progress, though, old habits die-hard -- our gender's preference for hooked-up men seems to linger: one American study found that women still pay more attention to ambition, education, and earning capacity in a mate than men do (appropriately, men still care primarily about physical signs of fecundity).
Or, more simply, have we just realized that dating freakishly beautiful people isn’t all it's cracked up to be?
A female friend once told me, “It’s always best to date attractive men, but not attractive that everyone’s constantly trying to jump on their dick, because that’s just stressful.” The sentiment actually made a lot of sense to me.