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So then you search desperately in your gut for some hint of excitement or spark, but the electricity you seem to feel so easily with the Starbucks barista or cute stranger on Twitter, is missing.You’re not sure if it’s the date, that’s the problem, or if it’s you.For example, evidence shows that simple but straightforward checklists work a lot better than complicated but fuzzy subjective evaluations. Virginia Apgar figured out over breakfast one day that a systematic assessment of five variables of a newborn -- heart rate, respiration, reflex, muscle tone, and color -- and three scores (2, 1 or 0 depending on the robustness of each sign) can determine whether a baby required intervention or not. The checklist clarifies thinking and saves precious time.The Apgar Score has since been used millions of times and has saved the lives of countless babies. Checklists are such powerful tools that Atul Gawande wrote a whole book about them called .The Apgar Score is great because it's fast, simple, foolproof and leads to action. Reading this, I thought to myself, "Self, surely we can come up with a checklist for women to figure out whether they should keep on dating a guy." So I thought back on all the times when my friends and myself were really into a woman, and the times when we were lukewarm, and what we did differently.Pink, squirming, grimacing, crying baby with a pulse of 100 and score of 8 or above? And I thought about the manifestation of that interest in a way that was easiest to spot and difficult to fake.By the second date, you should get beyond these sound bites and into real duets in which you build creatively on what the other person says.
The trick is figuring out earlier on in a relationship whether or not the two of you have a real shot of making it last.It’s not that these flaws weren’t there all along – they were; you just didn’t pay much notice to them, and they were most likely still being hidden.You got lost in the tide of love and have only now placed your feet on solid ground.This isn’t easy, as getting to know someone takes time.On average it takes about two years for the full honeymoon period to blow over, then you begin seeing flaws in the other person.